By Brett, The AuDHD Boss
Masking is a survival strategy many neurodivergent professionals know intimately—but rarely talk about. As an autistic manager with ADHD, I’ve spent years navigating corporate leadership while constantly adjusting how I show up, speak, and engage in the workplace.
I love the descriptions Dr. Megan Anna Neff across their work:
In this post, I want to share what masking at work really looks like for me, what I’ve learned over the past decade in senior roles, and how I balance professionalism with authenticity.
What Is Masking, and Why Do I Do It?
Masking refers to the way neurodivergent people suppress or alter their natural behaviors to fit in. At work, this might mean managing facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language; avoiding stimming; over-preparing for conversations; or hiding emotions in order to appear “professional.”
For me, masking starts before I even walk into a meeting. I think about how I’m presenting myself, who’s in the room, how I need to sound, and whether it’s safe to speak candidly. I’ve learned that as someone in a leadership role, my presence alone can affect how others behave—sometimes in ways that silence creativity and collaboration.
The Leadership Impact: Why I Mask Strategically
Early in my career, I learned the hard way that being fully unmasked at work could lead to misunderstandings. My directness, transparency, or emotional expression didn’t always land well with colleagues. As I moved into management, I started listening first, watching the dynamics of each team, and figuring out who held influence before deciding how to engage.
Now, I often mask for the benefit of my team. I hold back from sharing too early in meetings so others feel safe to brainstorm. I stay calm even when I’m frustrated because I know my tone sets the energy. I sometimes skip meetings altogether so my presence doesn’t unintentionally shut down open dialogue.
This isn’t manipulation—it’s leadership informed by neurodivergence. It’s an adaptive, strategic way of engaging that protects others and myself. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
The Hidden Cost of Constant Masking
Masking every day is exhausting. And if I don’t allow myself time to decompress and unmask, the consequences add up. I become more sarcastic. Less patient. More emotionally withdrawn. These are signs that I’m reaching burnout—not from the job itself, but from the performance it requires.
When that happens, I need to step away. I rest. I reflect. Sometimes I journal. Sometimes I just go silent. I take space to let my identity come back into focus.
Because if I don’t take time to unmask, I lose myself. And I’ve done that before.
Unmasking Isn’t Oversharing—It’s Intentional
Unmasking at work doesn’t mean being raw or vulnerable all the time. It’s about choosing moments to share more of your authentic self with the people who’ve earned that trust.
I’ve found trusted colleagues where I can speak freely. But I always consider the culture, the power dynamics, and whether that environment is safe enough for me to show up honestly.
There’s a difference between being candid and being unprofessional. And navigating that line—especially as someone who’s queer, autistic, and ADHD—takes a lot of emotional labor.
The Long-Term Impact on Identity
I used to tell my journalism students that after I left the newsroom, my humanity started to grow back. Now I understand what I really meant: I had masked so hard for so long that I lost who I was.
Masking helps us survive systems that weren’t built for us. But without care and intention, we risk erasing ourselves in the process.
That’s why I create content like this. That’s why I coach. That’s why I’ve built this platform—to help other neurodivergent professionals navigate the tightrope between fitting in and staying true.
Final Thoughts
Masking at work isn’t inherently bad—but it’s a practice that deserves awareness, strategy, and recovery.
If you’re a manager of neurodivergent employees, remember that what looks like “professionalism” may be a survival strategy. And if you’re neurodivergent yourself, know that you’re not alone in this.
We all deserve workplaces where we don’t have to mask to succeed.
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