Highlights and Key Insights from Our Latest Video Interview: Masking, Neurodivergence, and Authenticity in the Workplace
In our latest video podcast, Brett (The AuDHD Boss) sat down with Dr. Bowen-Marshall, PhD—licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, autism, and neurodivergent career development—to discuss the complex realities of masking, executive function, and the intersection of queer and neurodivergent identities in the workplace.
What is Masking and Why Does It Matter?
The conversation begins with a real-world reflection: Brett describes how receiving feedback about being “unlikable” at work can trigger spirals of negative self-talk and deeper rumination. Both Brett and Bowen share how masking—the process of hiding or suppressing neurodivergent traits to fit in—can be exhausting and unsustainable, especially when executive function is already depleted by stress or overwhelming environments.
Bowen references research showing that autistic and non-autistic people may literally use different parts of their brains in social situations, highlighting why masking is so cognitively demanding for many neurodivergent individuals. This leads to moments when “the mask drops,” often interpreted by others as frustration or unfriendliness, when in reality it’s a sign of overload.
The Overlap of Queer and Neurodivergent Identities
The discussion delves into the historical roots of masking and how it intersects with issues of compliance, white supremacy culture, and queer identity. Both guests discuss the reality that for many, masking isn’t just about neurodivergence—it’s also about safety and survival in environments that privilege conformity, whether that means “acting straight” or downplaying autistic traits.
Brett shares a personal journey of coming out as bisexual and how internalized rules from a high-control upbringing made self-acceptance difficult. Bowen adds that up to 70% of neurodivergent people may also be queer, making the experiences of masking and navigating social expectations deeply intertwined.
Navigating Feedback and “Likability” at Work
One of the most resonant themes is how often neurodivergent professionals—especially women and non-binary people—are told to be “more likable” or “work on interpersonal skills.” The conversation points out the double standards and gender biases at play, and the difficulty of “unringing the bell” once negative perceptions have taken hold. While masking strategies might offer short-term solutions, both Brett and Bowen agree this comes at the cost of authenticity and well-being.
Bowen introduces the concept of the “spiky cognitive profile”—the idea that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but for autistic people, these differences are often more pronounced. The key, they argue, is for managers to build teams around diverse strengths and create environments where people can thrive by focusing on what they do best, instead of trying to force everyone into the same mold.
The Power of Warmth and Competence
The conversation highlights research showing that first impressions are driven by two factors: warmth and competence. Autistic professionals often excel in competence but may struggle with projecting warmth in neurotypical ways, leading to misunderstandings. Micro-moments of connection—like a simple “good morning”—can make a difference, but the burden shouldn’t fall solely on neurodivergent individuals to adapt.
Practical suggestions include finding your own “warmth cues,” being intentional about first and last impressions, and recognizing that the responsibility to “fix” perceptions of likability should not rest solely on those who are different.
Authenticity, Power Dynamics, and Letting Go of the Mask
As the conversation draws to a close, both Brett and Bowen stress the importance of authenticity and the need to let go of the myth that perfect masking will guarantee acceptance or success. Instead, they advocate for workplaces and relationships that value emotional intelligence, diverse communication styles, and genuine strengths.
Bowen sums it up: “Masking is trying to get us to disconnect from ourselves. When neurodivergent people, when queer people disconnect from ourselves, we lose our power.”
Watch the Full Conversation & Learn More
This interview is packed with insights for anyone interested in neurodiversity, queer experiences at work, and building more inclusive, emotionally intelligent workplaces. Check out the video for the full discussion, as well as resources, articles, and ways to connect with Brett and Dr. Bowen-Marshall for coaching or further conversation.
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Keywords: masking, neurodivergence, ADHD, autism, workplace inclusion, executive function, queer identity, emotional intelligence, likability at work, strengths-based management, authenticity, leadership, Dr. Bowen-Marshall, The AuDHD Boss