For many of us who are autistic or have ADHD, the holiday work party can feel like walking into uncharted territory. With unspoken rules, social expectations, and the added sensory overload, these events can become a source of anxiety rather than joy. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With the right strategies, you can navigate holiday work functions while prioritizing your comfort and authenticity.
Understanding the Challenge
Holiday work parties blur the line between personal and professional. While they’re often framed as fun social gatherings, they are still work events—complete with implicit codes of conduct. For neurodivergent professionals, this duality can make navigating them particularly tricky.
Hi, I’m Brett, the AuDHD Boss, an autistic leader with ADHD and over a decade of leadership experience. I understand how challenging these events can be, which is why I’ve compiled my best tips to help you not just survive but thrive at your next holiday work party.
1. Manage Expectations
First and foremost, remember that a holiday work party is still a work function. This means maintaining professionalism is key.
- Keep it professional: Avoid getting overly casual or sharing too much personal information.
- Set boundaries: Decide in advance how long you plan to stay and stick to it.
My favorite guideline? The Moira Rose Rule (inspired by Schitt’s Creek): Twice around the room, then leave. This approach allows you to make a positive impression, interact with key colleagues, and bow out gracefully after about 90 minutes.
2. Plan Your Conversations
For many neurodivergent individuals, small talk can feel exhausting. Here’s how to make it more manageable:
- Prepare safe topics: Go-to subjects like pets, hobbies, or neutral current events can help ease the pressure.
- Ask questions: If you’re unsure what to say, focus on the other person by asking thoughtful questions.
- Read body language: Pay attention to cues to gauge engagement or signal when it’s time to move on.
3. Bring Tools to Stay Grounded
Holiday work parties often involve loud environments, unpredictable interactions, and sensory overload. Preparing small tools can help you feel more at ease.
- Travel fidgets: Discreet items like a small clip or soft fidget toy can provide comfort without drawing attention.
- Anchor yourself with safe people: Identify colleagues you feel comfortable around and plan to spend time with them.
- Take breaks: Step outside or find a quiet corner if you need to decompress.
4. Plan for Recovery Time
Social events can drain your energy, and that’s okay. Build recovery time into your schedule:
- Unwind afterward: Give yourself permission to spend the evening in silence or engage in low-stimulation activities.
- Pace your schedule: Avoid back-to-back social commitments whenever possible.
- Acknowledge your limits: It’s okay to decline invitations if attending would be too overwhelming.
5. Focus on What Matters
If you find yourself worrying about how others perceive you, remember this: Most people at the party are focused on themselves, not on you.
A former colleague once told me, “People aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.” This reminder has been a game-changer for me and can help alleviate some of the pressure you may feel.
Practical Holiday Work Party Survival Tips at a Glance
- Stick to the Moira Rose Rule: Twice around the room, then leave.
- Have a plan: Prepare topics, questions, and a timeline for your visit.
- Carry tools: Discreet fidgets and safe people can help ground you.
- Take breaks: Find moments to step away and breathe.
- Recover afterward: Schedule time to recharge and care for yourself.
Conclusion: You’ve Got This!
Holiday work parties can be daunting, but with the right preparation, they don’t have to be overwhelming. By managing your expectations, leaning on practical tools, and giving yourself grace, you can navigate these events in a way that feels authentic and sustainable.
Do you have strategies for handling work parties? Share your tips in the comments!
Want more workplace advice for ADHD and autism? Check out my other blogs and videos for actionable tips on navigating the corporate world as a neurodivergent professional.