Internalized Ableism and Autistic Burnout
Recently, my conversation with Dr. Megan Anna Neff of Neurodivergent Insights sparked a deep reflection on internalized ableism and its potential contribution to autistic burnout. Lindsey Mackereth’s, MA, LPCC, LADC ‘7 Signs You May Have Internalized Ableism,’ and reflects on how these signs have impacted their life and career. See those 7 questions here. I want to share my journey and insights with you.
My Late Diagnosis and Initial Struggles
My diagnosis came about four years ago, in my late thirties, and those initial years were a period of intense processing. I faced a lot of internalized ableism, a struggle I believe many with late diagnoses experience. One question I often get is, “Is a late diagnosis worthwhile?” My answer is a resounding yes. Understanding my autism and ADHD provided a manual I never had, offering strategies and resources that transformed my approach to life and work.
Before my diagnosis, I was constantly trying to fit into neurotypical molds, leading to unnecessary struggles and self-criticism. I’d beat myself up for not doing things the “right” way, the way my colleagues or friends did. The moment I understood my neurodiversity, everything shifted. I realized I needed a different way in, a way that aligned with my unique brain.
(The 7 Signs of Internalized Ableism and My Experiences)
Let’s explore Lindsay Mcg, Gareth’s seven signs and how they resonated with me:
- Hiding Your Neurodivergence: Initially, I did this extensively. I questioned my own experiences, thinking, “I’ve managed this far, why change?” But getting a diagnosis isn’t about changing; it’s about understanding and leveraging your strengths.
- Feeling Inadequate Despite Strengths: I’ve definitely felt this. I’d excel in one area, then hit a wall and feel like I was failing. Now, I recognize these moments as signs of overwhelm and take steps to recover.
- Denying Yourself Accommodations: In the first year post-diagnosis, I struggled with this. I questioned my ability to manage my team and my role. I had to remind myself that autism and ADHD are disabilities in a neurotypical-centric world, and I deserve accommodations.
- Proving Your Neurodivergence: I felt the need to prove my diagnosis, even to other neurodivergent individuals. But neurotypical minds don’t analyze these traits constantly. I learned to accept my needs without justification.
- Overcompensating: After asking for accommodations, I felt pressure to overcompensate. While this still creeps in occasionally, I’m more aware of it now.
- Forcing Participation in Burnout-Inducing Events: In my leadership role, I can’t avoid all social and sensory-heavy events. Instead, I focus on recovery plans and finding alternative approaches.
- Avoiding Neurodivergent Communities: This doesn’t apply to me. My closest friends and many colleagues are neurodivergent. We naturally gravitate towards each other.
How Does Unmasking Help?
Working through internalized ableism is an ongoing process. One crucial aspect is unmasking. We often mask to navigate ableism, but unmasking, even partially, can be liberating. Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s Neurodivergent Insights offers valuable resources on unmasking and burnout. I encourage you to explore their free content and consider their paid resources (use code “AuDHDBoss” for a discount).
Final Thoughts
Internalized ableism can be a significant barrier to self-acceptance and growth. By recognizing these signs and actively working through them, we can create a more supportive and inclusive environment for ourselves and others.