Processing job loss, identity, and burnout after 12 years in the same role
Many adults with ADHD and autism find job loss emotionally complex. For me, losing my position after 12 years wasn’t just about work—it was about identity, structure, and the deep process of starting over.
Getting laid off when you’re neurodivergent just hits differently.
Hi, I’m Brett. I have ADHD and autism, and while I’m still The AuDHD Boss, right now I’m just AuDHD Brett. I still talk about autism and ADHD in the workplace—how we navigate leadership, management, and being neurodivergent employees—but this time from a new perspective.
Earlier this week, I learned that my position—and my team’s—was being eliminated. I had a half hour to prepare before the call, time to steady myself and feel the emotions that were already rising. When it became real, I burst into tears. The shock was instant. I felt like I had let people down, even though I logically knew it wasn’t personal.
That’s the tricky thing about having an AuDHD brain—I can process complex information in seconds, yet emotions take days or weeks to surface. My mind races ahead, but my heart lags behind.
The quiet after the call
When the call ended, I felt numb. Then neutral. Then stuck.
Friends reached out, which helped, but the silence was deafening. After twelve years of constant meetings, decisions, and problem-solving, the stillness was unsettling. My routines—my scaffolding—had vanished overnight.
That loss of structure was harder than I expected. The routine of it all was critical for mu neurodivergent brain over 12 years.
“What do I do now?”
I called one of my mentors, a brilliant leader I’ve learned so much from.
She said, “Breathe. You don’t have to fix this right now.”
That advice hit hard. My ADHD brain always wants to act—to solve, to plan, to move. But this time, I had to sit with the discomfort. To let the emotions unfold however they needed to. They weren’t going to follow a schedule or make logical sense.
That night, I journaled. I took melatonin to help me sleep, worried that my thoughts would spiral. I still woke early, wide awake at 6 AM. The first feeling that hit me was embarrassment—wondering who I was without my title, without being someone’s boss.
Letting go of identity
My identity had been tied to that job for so long. It’s where I learned to lead, collaborate, and mentor. Losing it felt like losing part of myself.
But slowly, I reminded myself that it wasn’t about performance. It was a restructuring—a decision beyond me. That truth didn’t erase the pain, but it helped stop the spiral.
Talking with colleagues who were also impacted helped too. Sharing our stories lightened the weight.
When the emotions sneak up
Even now, the feelings come in waves. Sometimes mid-conversation, a new thought or worry surfaces and the tears come back.
But there’s another side I didn’t expect—the mental space that’s returning.
Without the pressure of managing people and protecting departments, I have room to think again. The constant masking and scripting that come with corporate life have quieted. My thoughts are clearer. My creativity is coming back.
I can feel my memory improving, my focus returning, and ideas flowing more freely. It’s strange, but freeing.
Gratitude and what comes next
I’m not done processing. Healing takes time. But I’m grateful—for the experience, for the lessons, for twelve years of growth and leadership, and for the chance to rebuild something new.
This space has already opened possibilities. I’m focusing more on The AuDHD Boss—coaching, workshops, and conversations about neurodiversity at work. My books open November 1.
For now, I’m Brett—the AuDHD Brett.
Still The AuDHD Boss, just the boss of me, myself, and I.
💡 Work with Brett
- 1:1 Coaching for autistic and ADHD professionals
- Workshops & keynotes on neurodiversity at work
- Manager training on neuroinclusive leadership