Does people pleasing sometimes override your own needs? Do you suppress your needs to self-soothe or hide parts of yourself as a survival instinct? Do you study body language closely, imitate others, or rehearse conversations in your head? These are all signs of autistic masking.
When I first learned the definition of masking, it was my “aha” moment. It helped me understand my autistic traits and eventually led me to a formal diagnosis.
Dr. Megan Anna Neff, in The Autistic Burnout Workbook, writes:
“Autistic masking involves the conscious or unconscious efforts of an autistic person to change their external behavior and hide aspects of themselves to avoid harm, using strategies such as suppressing stimming behavior, meticulously studying and imitating social behaviors, analyzing body language, scripting and rehearsing conversations, exhibiting excessive accommodation and helpfulness towards others.”
Masking can also be called camouflaging, and research shows people adapt in different ways — through compensation, masking, and assimilation. Embrace Autism describes camouflaging as an evolutionary tool to fit in and avoid ostracization, but warns it can take a physical and emotional toll.
For me, masking often meant mimicking others, even taking cues from TV shows and characters. It became part of my identity to the point where I couldn’t separate my authentic self from my masked persona.
Dr. Neff also notes that masking is especially common among autistic people with multiple marginalized identities. It can be exhausting, and while unmasking can help us connect with our true selves, safety and context matter.
I have a special discount code: AUDHDBOSS on Dr Neff’s Unmasking workbook available on their website, link below.
If you want to explore this further, I recommend Dr. Neff’s website Neurodivergent Insights as well as their book The Autistic Burnout Workbook and the resources on Embrace Autism, including the CAT-Q test for measuring masking.