Introduction:
One of the hardest parts of being neurodivergent is we sometimes hit these walls where we struggle to get started even if it’s something we want to do.
We sometimes need help to start something, especially if our brains find it boring, but it even happens with things we want to do. So, how do we do the thing? That’s our topic for today’s video.
Meet Brett, the AuDHD Boss:
I’m an autistic ADHDer (also known as AuDHD), and I’ve been a manager in various corporate settings for over 15 years. Here, I apply my lived experience and leadership training to help neurodivergents in the workplace. Take what works for you and leave the rest. Not everything I say will work perfectly for you, but there might be something that helps.
“Task initiation” (or how we just do the thing?) refers to determining how to accomplish a particular task or objective. In other words, it is the initial step in figuring out how to do something.
Jessica McCabe writes in her excellent book, How to ADHD, that our brains need different motivations to start a task. Even when it’s something we want to do.
Sometimes, we can launch into something when it’s new or exciting, our special interest, or a new hyper-focus. Then, other times, we might struggle to get started, even when it’s something we want to do… writing this post, for example…
Sometimes, we also need a challenge for our minds or a deadline.
Even so, we might have a deadline at work, and we still don’t want to do the thing, or we avoid it until the last minute. The panic from that can give us the adrenaline we need, but then we crash hard on the other end.
Or worse, we just can’t do it and feel bad about ourselves.
So, what can we do to do the thing when we don’t want to?
Before I launch into the tips and strategies, I will again recommend How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe. Over on her channel (and in her book), she walks through the emotions behind these barriers and how to investigate within yourself how to tackle this issue in general.
Find out why?
Let’s reset what we’re doing? What is out why? Or maybe there is something here where we can find that spark of interest or our way into whatever the project is?
What is our ultimate goal for this project, or what is our intent? Let’s not get lost in what everyone else is doing; that’s an easy trap to fall into and not the kind of thinking that will help us do our thing — let’s focus on what we are trying to do and why?
Break down the steps.
Next — let’s break down the steps. Sure, there might be a lot or even a few, but let’s break them down into a checklist so we can capture our thinking and not miss anything — this does not need to be in any particular order — just write down the various steps that come to mind.
Side note here:
Sometimes, all the steps to take on a project can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re AuDHD. Ask for help; there is no shame in asking a boss, friend, partner, or colleague to sit with you and be a thought partner to help break all these steps down and help prioritize what’s needed — maybe even make a visual. Sometimes, we just need to talk to process these things out loud. If I can’t find a thought partner, I speak to my cat, dog, or myself. For me, it’s about the vocal processing. This is a form of body doubling that helps me a lot.
Prioritize the list
OK — NOW we’re going to organize these steps — what do we need to prioritize, what can we start with? Does it all have to be done right now, or are there some smaller steps we can do first to get us started or even motivated before we take on some of the more intricate or significant stuff? Does any part of this have its deadline or require someone else, like your boss, to review it before we go to another step? Do we need any help or partners to join us? If so, which parts need that? Let’s note that on our list and figure out when we will go to all of them to get that help.
OK, let’s get started… or take a little break.
We have our list and order, more or less; what else do we need to get started?
Measured rewards
This is critical because sometimes, just organizing our thinking can make us feel so accomplished we stop there. Try to avoid that. Here’s an option — either we take a small break and reward ourselves because we’ve made this list — find a small break or get a small reward or treat for doing what we’ve done so far OR start the smallest, most simple task on the list so we can cross it off and then tell yourself, we can get our treat after we do that one small thing. — You decide, but hold onto that because we must make a deal with our brain to return! That’s critical
OK, now maybe we’re struggling to come back, or perhaps we’ve done our treat, and we’re ready to go to the next step. Let’s consider what other little rewards we might be able to give ourselves if we can get through a few more steps or half or whatever works for you…But make the reward matter.
Sometimes, all of this is still not enough, or you get started and find yourself hitting a wall. Let’s talk about body doubling.
Sometimes, it’s easier for me to finish something for a team member when they sit with me and help me complete the task. For example, if a team member needs me to write an email to someone or help review something, it allows me to have them sit with me while I take that task on. One of our sort of funny moments is what we call “time for writing an email with Brett!”
It’s pretty simple: someone on my team sits with me while I compose a carefully worded email, or a message, to whoever needs it. I write aloud, and they chime in with their thoughts or edits. This is a form of body doubling. I sometimes require them to sit there with me to complete it. And their feedback really helps me, too.
Body doubling can be so helpful when you need to work on something, and having that other person either doing their own thing or just being there if you need the support is such a gift. A lot of ADHDers will jump on an Instagram or YouTube live and just do body doubling for anyone who needs it.
Finally, take a break. Go for a walk or go do something and then come back. Reviewing the work later on gives you a fresh perspective and more ideas. Know when to break hyper-focus to help the work.
A few other thoughts:
Set times for the deadlines during hyper-focus, and have an accountability partner, someone who can gently check on you but not in a way that feels like they’re being critical. Be sure to inform your accountability partner so you don’t hit any rejection sensitivity and have that set you back.
One other thought… sometimes our mind can have these little voices come up and tell us something isn’t good enough, or it won’t be what a boss wants, or someone else could be doing better. As hard as it is, try to tell those little thoughts or voices to be quiet. In the meditation world, it’s often suggested we give that voice or those narratives a name and just say, OK, Jeff, thanks. Take a seat, and I’ll get to you later. Or just OK, note thanks, and get back to work. Try not to let those get to you. It’s so hard with all the ways things come at us, but you need to put your unique mark on this project or that thing. Only you have your perspective, and that’s what the world is looking for. Besides, I’m sure all of those other folks have their doubting voice too — I sure do, so just try and tell yourself you can do this, and we need you to do this.